(including facilities)
Renowned gastronome Nick Johnson of Colchester undertook to write a review of post match food made available to youth players at clubs around the South East. Nick is well qualified for the job and promised to spare no effort in sampling all that clubs have to offer. Although Nick now plays at Harwich, his legacy is continued by his former team mates at Colchester.
Barking Bedford Hertford North Walsham Richmond Stowmarket Sudbury Woodford Wymondham
BARKING
Date: 20 January 2002
Food: Pasty, chips & beans
After a delightful journey through the centre of Dagenham, our arrival at Barking was met by a total lack of tea, coffee, or BACON SANDWICHES, for our poor, ageing parents, and when it did arrive, it was lukewarm, and did nothing to sustain the over 50s.
After the match, our happy moods changed to apprehension, as our taste buds were made to wait an appalling 15 minutes for the kitchen to open, but when it did they were met by the glorious site of a full plate of pies, chips and beans. But it wasn't all good news, the beans were STONE COLD, the price of drinks were horrendous, and poor Gwithion was shocked to find a hair in his chips, but overall this was a vast improvement on other clubs' performances.
WELL DONE BARKING (but there was still nothing for the poor
old parents!)
(by James
Glaysher)
BEDFORD
Date: 23 September
2001
Food: Burger/Cheese burger
After the match I and
the rest of the Colchester team were considerably hungry. We all left the
pitch and headed for the showers. After a quick wash and change my nose guided
me to the kitchen window. When I arrived at my destination I met a glorious
site! BURGERS!! Excellent, I thought to myself, but thinking back now I realise
that my initial thoughts were wrong. Burgers, yes, but cold and no chips in
sight! AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Never
mind, get the burger down then head for the bar and tons of pork scratchings and
bacon flavoured crisp things, followed by Mars Bars and Twix's for afters.
A
packed lunch may be advisable for the larger members of our squad for next
season's game.
HERTFORD
Date: 1 February
2003
Food: Sausage in a bun
We visited the giants of London One, Hertford; already from just entering the car park I could see that it would be an improvement on last week's escapade to Stowmarket. Car parks spaced aplenty, a pleasant looking clubhouse - had Colchester U16s for once hit the jackpot? As we continued to the changing room, this still seemed a reality - big single changing rooms.
So we were plumped with the changing room that could accommodate two teams. To be fair, they were spacious enough to more than seat both U15s and U16s, each of whom have their own share of gastronomes among their ranks.
A more than farcical match meant more time for ingestion of confectionery, meats and drink. For once, sausages were full size - more to the point, they were succulent, juicy, delectable - perhaps that's going too far; maybe just tasty will do. I had noticed though that not a lot else was on offer in terms of other food - buns, buns and more buns is all I saw - but then again at least they have a menu.
If your pallet was desiccated, then more than enough drink was available to keep any player contented; it was all reasonably priced too. The layout of the clubhouse was, to say the least, odd. The space could have been used in a better way, as often the ensemble of players, supporters and officials were left standing in a big, empty room.
This was, on the whole, a very pleasant club - minor quibbles do not detract from the fact that this club deserves to go in the Top 5 Away Days of the Season; A pleasurable day out.
Congratulations Hertford!
NORTH WALSHAM
Date: 27 January
2002
Food: Hot Dog
The trip to North Walsham was trouble free, and we were greeted by what seemed to be a splendid clubhouse. Unfortunately we were not prepared for the interior - the changing room smelt like a zoo. Some rugby players would be at home in there as they are animals.
After the match, everyone made their way back to the changing room. An adequate showering facility, with just the right temperature water. Soon we were up to the clubhouse - HELP! Incredibly crammed and just a small hot dog on offer for the players. It must be noted that this is a National League Club, and I was surprised that the confectionery was inexpensive- perhaps because there was not much on offer.
The overall view is that
the clubhouse is always going to be crammed when you have hungry players and
parents, and for a National League club, it did not live up to my
expectations.
(by James Sarek)
RICHMOND
Date: 17 February 2002
Food: Burger or Hot Dog & chips
The match passed - the less said about that the better. Showering facilities were almost second to none, Barking maybe the only club bettering them. After changing, it was straight to the clubhouse. My, it was magnificent! An efficient Player's Meal system , two drink machines, and ketchup on permanent view. The variety was better than most clubs - burgers, chips and sausages all very well done.
On the downside though, drinks cost an awful lot - £1.50 for a bottle of still Lucozade is more than most clubs charge.
The overall view is that
Richmond has some of the best facilities for their level, with acres of
playing fields and a friendly clubhouse.
(by James Sarek)
STOWMARKET
Date: 25 January 2004
Food: Hot Dog
Our sojourn to Stowmarket led us to the salubrious surroundings of Chilton Fields - I wish . From a distant view, it seemed just a few pitches with a less than adequate clubhouse. I thought that things must get better from here; and my thoughts were proved correct as we entered the changing rooms of Stowmarket. It was not the biggest, not the smallest, but certainly enough room to cater for a mass of slobs.
After the game, we headed back to the changing room again to be greeted with a delightfully cold shower. Either Stowmarket didn't take defeat very well or they need to sort out the plumbing. The post-match banter came in the clubhouse; barely room to stand, poor layout and very little seating meant that if you got away quickly it might just be a distant memory rather than a nightmare. To the club's credit, they did have a shop and pool table. But that's about it.
A search for food had begun; I'm sure some members of the team were left in disarray as they were presented with a measly hot dog; certainly not enough to replenish the often pot-bellied stomachs of Colchester and Stowmarket players.
My overall feeling for this club is that it will have to be more accommodating for players, fans and members of all clubs to really become a good club.
The best way to sum it up is that the potential is there.
SUDBURY
Date: 2 December 2001
Food: Burger or Hot Dog and chips
After a long, cold game we were all looking forward to a huge hot meal but
when we got to the kitchen all we could find were a couple of tiny polystyrene
trays with tiny burgers or hot dogs with only two or three chips for company.
Naturally it being food we sat down to eat, only to find the real problem, NO
KETCHUP!!! Now we all know chips without the red stuff are disgusting but
these were worse. They were cold, and with burgers that were foul, tiny hotdogs
and Coke that was flat and 60p more expensive than at home this was an experience
I would rather forget.
(by Ed Evans)
WOODFORD
Date: 21 September 2003
Food: Sausage in a bun and chips
We were greeted by the fantastic looking Woodford clubhouse, and after the match it was time to head upstairs - it was no more than aesthetically pleasing. A poor layout meant little room to move about.
To the food!
For the player's meal ticket only a paltry portion of chips and one, repeat one, small chipolata was made to suffice - hardly what a hungry player wants after an hour of rugby. To the canteen's credit, for a little extra you could get such things as a pasty or chicken wrap, similar to a takeaway. Credit to the kitchen staff for all they had to do.
To sum up - Although the surroundings at Woodford were pleasant, I think that it did not live up to expectations, but then again it was not the worst club we will visit this season (mentioning no names yet).
Taffy
WYMONDHAM
Date: 6 January 2002
Food: Hot Dog
I thought the the game was actually going to be cancelled but
when we got there found that it was still on. The pitch was holding out quite
well under the appalling conditions. As we went in to our changing rooms after
the game in a happy mood we had a shower and changed and looked forward to a
nice burger or hot dog and chips. Well when we entered the club house we went
straight for the food and what we saw was shocking. Just a big plate full of
about 20 hot dogs which looked like they had been there for hours and NO CHIPS.
We ate the hot dog which was cold and looked around to buy some chips and a HOT
BURGER but to our dismay there was nothing there.
(by Stuart Howells)